today I will #JustBe MYSELF!

Project1c

In reality, for me this is really hard to say…that I will just be myself.  For about 20 years I didn’t know who I was.  I had known myself at some point, of course.  But somehow, I forgot who that was and then I just forgot I ever knew.  Somehow, at some point, which one, specifically, I do not recall, I must have made a MISTAKE!  I made an error and I got hurt.  I got hurt for not having perfect penmanship.  I got hurt for missing 2 points out of 100 on a test…I got hurt for being too goofy, too silly, too emotional, too caring, too wild, too tough, too competitive…And little by little I put each and everyone of the traits, characteristics, blemishes, faux-pas, and mannerisms I viewed then as a personal weakness.  Here’s the thing though, I put away so much, I put away my SELF.  And all that was eventually left was a shell of fear, doubt, anger, frustration, negativity, limitation, despair, and PAIN.  Incredibly, in my perception, I was an utter failure…How can I be growing worse and worse each year?  Why was I not evolving fast enough?  Was there a chromosomal malformation limiting my evolutionary capacity?  I was my own worst enemy, my own worst critic.  I was miserable.  I was despicable…But with a lot of help, hard work and determination, I decided I was good enough just as I am.  How bad could it hurt to try to love MYSELF again?  I started doing the things I only wished I could do when I was a kid.  When I couldn’t wait to be my own grown-up!  Little things like walking around barefoot…staying in all day playing and reading…inspecting the yard for as long as I wanted to…laying out in the sun with my head in the shade.  Something reignited in me…a PEACE that is so absolute, so silent, still, infinite and eternal.  May every ONE always just be.  Sat Nam.  Love and Light 180-

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