For about two years now, I’ve been actively reintegrating all parts of my SELF in an effort to evolve. It might help you to know I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder when I was 19 years old. This diagnosis was confirmed again at the age of 35. Anyway, what every teacher, guru, friend, curriculum, workshop, and mentor seemed to always point to as the basis for suffering was Ego and ego’s creation, ILLUSION…Now, I was aware of the word ego from a high school class where I also learned about the id and the superego. But I had never stopped to consider that EGO might have been driving my LIFE! Preposterous! I’m in charge of my life…Aren’t I?
Well it turns out they were correct. Yes, ego is driving your life if you feel anything other than inner peace, joy, and love at the core of your BEING. So, while I’ve been busy ego-eradicating with my beautiful Light Sister Gabby Bernstein, I’ve also been wondering how and when did this happen? And if my ultimate goal is the realization of ONENESS, how could ego, a part of me, need eradicating? On the one hand I was saying that I was Light and Love and only Light and Love. Yet on the other hand I was saying there’s a little tiny part of me, sort of like a parasite, that I must lock up and contain…a part of me that’s so destructive, manipulative and childish (and not in the awesome innocent way, but in the deviant and scary OMG way) that it would rather destroy me, its host, than behave!
This is yet another one of our sneaky DUALITIES…yes, now I am not pointing the finger at another and whining “I’m the victim.” Yes, the finger is now pointed inwardly, I am responsible. EUREKA! Yet within my Self I still found an “OTHER” and named it EGO. And named it “Negative EGO.” But like everything else, EGO is not negative. EGO is not positive. EGO just is. And as long as everything that IS is allowed to perform its natural purpose and function you have the power and opportunity of co-creating with that energy. LOVE is all there is. The dark side of the Moon is only the illusion of a limited perspective. So I’m no longer ego-eradicating, but rather EGOthanking. Only by integrating all of your rays of LIGHT can you begin to grow brighter! Sat Nam. Love and Light! 180-